Parenting tips

At this stage of the game, good parenting is 98% safe baby containment. This baby is self-mobile, and only attracted to dark corners, electrical cords, and shiny sharp things. Bonus points if she can put them in her mouth. She has absolutely no respect for gravity. So at the end of the day, when my baby is in one piece, her belly is full, she is clean (ish…that avocado in her hair is a deep conditioning treatment), I consider myself a parenting success. But I can’t take all the credit, I owe it all to a myriad of baby containment devices (“baby buckets”) that we have to employ.

There are strollers and baby carriers for outings…

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Then there is the playpen for while at home, although this only gets a 15-20 minute satisfaction rating on a good day…

2014-05-31 15.20.07

And of course the baby buckets that are required by law…

2014-05-31 16.25.57

There you have it, a day in the life of a “successful” (i.e. my kid is still alive and in one piece, despite her own best efforts) parent, in terms of baby buckets. Oh, I suppose I could take her to library story time to foster some intellectual development, or sing to her to expand her creativity, or hosting baby playdates to encourage social skills, but then we’d have to start making some hard choices like not wearing clean diapers or eating Top Ramen for every meal…because who has time for all that stuff? Maybe my next kid will take after me and a bit lazier.

 

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